Release poster of Kattradhu Tamil Release poster of Taramani I watched Kattradhu Tamil, a film by director Ram. The last film of his I watched somehow troubled me less, for it had a unserious thread between the others that was being woven. Taramani but by no lesser means was equally troubling (It missed my then week’s note for some reason), and I am unable to place why women appear to be the intersectional victims of his commentary on globalisation, gentrification, and capitalism that appear in both films. I wonder what childhood memory I carry at all for me to remember in the hands of a person, like Ananthi appears to be for Prabhakaran. There is so much tragedy in Kattradhu Tamil, tragedy that numbs people, tragedy that makes people go crazy. I do not know if it is a tragedy that Ananthi and the Tamil Vaathiyar were the only love that he has had, so much that Prabhakaran goes in search of Ananthi to Savergaon (unclear if this is a real village), Sangamner, close to Pune. Or, I do not if it is more a tragedy to not have a someone to go in search of. Atleast in the end, Ananthi and Prabhakaran both found each other to go in search of Tony together… I wonder what the circumstances of the family were in Acchankovil for them to migrate all the way to a remote village in Maharashtra. Was this informed by a real account? I also wonder what schools were like in summer holidays then. For the tamil teacher to have stayed for just one student… and for a relationship to have been like that… No such relationship could exist now I think…but maybe, I hope that they do. ...

At the entrance of Kolar, I find this banner. In the possible decade that this banner has been up, the image of a Bulldozer/earthmover and the text ‘A great movement’ have acquired very many different meanings I realised after reaching the entry ramp to the Chennai - Blr expressway that bikes are banned. It was not enforced on the approach from bangalore, possibly because I entered it from the Satellite Town Ring Road. But I wonder what the value of banning bikes is, if the inability to maintain expressway speeds is the problem, why not ban bikes of a certain speed-power class? ...

The week rushes, through some amount of anxiety and masked existentialism. I realise that the only habit I’ve realised in the past few months is of escaping the city. I wake up to an empty home, complete with the all the remnants of an unwilling night. Unwilling because the only resident does not do anything willingly - he gives into Netflix, because it a captive companion in the house. He gives into a messy bed and cupboard, full with clothes of yesterday, the day before and a few from the week before. The bed even hosts diversity in cleanliness: the clean refuse to get folded, the unclean refuse to be washed until smelt: Bangalore’s weather gives me an excuse, and i wonder how my room would have looked like in Chennai… I could talk in Tamil, curse at my friends maybe, or maybe hangout without it being in a fancy Indiranagar equivalent. The local tea shop or a ride would be possible, but then my friends in Chennai don’t have a job yet, the few in blore do, making them freer. ...

I have been noticing closed wells in the city, and I wonder how differently these neighbourhoods were, when these borewells were initially constructed. A borewell, somewhere SFS 208, Yelahanka New Town I wrote about my ‘zest-lessness’ and my escapes with karmoda in biking to escape I drove to Chennai for what else would I be upto in bangalore? The new highway is empty, and the Satellite Twon Ring Road is helpfull. I can reach Yelahanka faster in the city than reach Annanagar in Chennai after I enter the city. The Poonamallee - Maduravoyal - Koyambedu stretch can be hot! ...

Chithhapa and L who had forgotten to bring her chappal In Akkaraipatti, I was visiting to have lunch with relatives who had prayed and sacrificed to Muniyappan in a Muniyappan Kovil by the bank of the Thirumanimuthhar (pronounced thiru-mani-muthh-aaru). My Chithhappa and his kid took us to show the river a bit more downstream from the Temple. I saw so many wells this side of Mallasamudram, that I’ve never noticed inside the Town. The Town is largely filled with weaving occupations, something I note with Paavadis in Weekly Note 15. Flowing to the brim and to the brim it has flowed for the past few years. It carries the sewage of Salem City and joins the Kavery later above Karur Another Muniyappan Kovil near the banks, I wonder how so many are there close to each other A well near the river, full with the rains. 1. The Muniyappan temple. 2. Photograph of Chithhapa and L. M says that all across the region, Kelangu, Rice etc have been replaced by Coconut in the last 50 years. Notice the scale of the Orchard east of the river. The Kaveri has apparently had the same happen upstream as well Driving back from Mallasamudram, I chose to forego and go visit Mettur. The initial plan was to enter Karnataka through Malai Mahadeshwara Betta, Kollegal and Kanakapura, but that would have made me very late, so I just chose to visit Mettur. I’ve never been there, but was surprised by how industrial the town is. ...

Bangalore has its skies returned from the kala of the karmodas. They will come back soon. Aruvu had its annual meeting, Aruvu turned a year sometime in April. It was a weekend of parties, of new homes and of new years. I have not danced this much in a year nor have I slept so well in many weeks. ...

It drizzled for sometime. It was cold for sometime and it was clear for sometime. It was an all pleasant evening all along from Channapatna to Nelamangla to Yelahanka this saturday. I had the privilege of maps that allowed me to take long, thin windy roads on hillocks and downhill from villages onto valleys. The jasmine tree in front of Aruvu fell We heard a sharp cracking sound, almost like the sound of thunder and then heard the tree hit the roof. The atleast 30 foot tall Jasmine tree in front of YNC fell. We were shocked and went out to realise that that the compund wall had taken most of the hit and the top was resting on the sloped roof of YNC. ...

I would shudder intensely as soon as I started, the shudder would pass down to my karmoda’s handle - only a small moment of instability and then I would pick up speed back again. In the last 250 kms to Bangalore after Anantpur, I must have stopped atleast 4 times to drink some tea to warm myself up, but everytime, I would shut off the engine, think for a minute if i really wanted to open my luggage for that would wet my devices. Reaching home faster was more important - I would decide to ride away again, starting with shudders and then getting into the groove with the wet wind. ...

I drove on my bike to Bidar from Yelahanka. I reached Bidar as midnight came. The moon had just been covered by clouds, and I’d driven into the quiet of the city, even more quieter when on the new Humnabad Highway, which was just me, another car and a satisfying amount of reflectors on the lane markings. I started at 6 in the morning from Yelahanka, and by the end of the journey had been driving for 18 hours, with a few long stops inbetween to skip the mid-day heat of the Deccan. ...

This past week has been tiring and filled. I’ve realised that I need to consciously seek out my free time, my aspirations and my imaginations. I realise this in the background of feeling all over the place in the amorphous sphere of what is the professional and the personal. I also realise that personal desires and validation may not come from what is a moral value you place on something. I can place moral value in something that I do, but does it excite me? I’m not sure. Not always. This ofcourse comes from the great privilege of being able to do what excites me for work and life and get paid for it. ...